Zyra's Gardening Tips
by Dr. Nigabitch
Summary: Our plant-tending goddess Zyra and her worthy assistant Tristana teach us a few simple tricks to grow the ripest of fruits. Plant experts hate them! Rated M for fruity puns.


"Hey Zyra! Why did the tomato turn red?"

A chuckle from Graves. Silence. Then…

"It saw the salad dressing!"

Tristana's taunting, as sporadic and childish as they were, began to drill into Zyra's head. Not once had she experienced such an intense hatred for the yordle race, from her first thoughts in the Kumungu jungle to the deceptive form she resided in today. Her laning with Graves, although successful for the most part, was ruined by the vitriol that spewed out of Tristana's mouth.

However, Zyra thought of herself as a rational being. As mad as she was, she wouldn't let her emotions conflict with her greater judgement. Dealing with the yordle would be simple: she will toss out a few vines, entangle the little blue vermin, and let Graves deal with the rest.

At least, that was the plan. It was only a little while after that thought that she spoke again…

"Hey Zyra! You should do some gardening, and plant yourself into Bronze!"

The terrible joke that was obviously made by googling "gardening humor" was the last straw. In that moment, every fiber of Zyra's being was seeded with anger. Like a thin branch, she snapped, and covered the lane with vines from every direction. She was sick of Tristana being a thorn in her side; her rage quickly sprouted into a desire to utterly humiliate the yordle.

The vines that spread across the lane caught up to Tristana's feet, and before she could even react with a rocket jump, her legs were anchored to the ground. Struggling, she turned to find that her loyal support, Lulu, had completely disappeared.

"H-hey!" Tristana shouted towards Graves, who was idly standing by. "You're gonna do something about this, r-right!?" In response, Graves simply shook his head and removed the lit cigar from his mouth, flicking it towards Tristana's feet as it smoldered. Lowering the shotgun that sat on his shoulder, he faced Tristana and said with a wide grin, "No problem a' mine."

He chuckled as he walked back to the nexus, waving with his free arm. Shivering in anticipation, Zyra raised a hand before Tristana's face. "Do you see this, little weed?" She said as vines crawled around the limb. "I'm going to plant this right between your tulips." Her foot stamped out the cigar as she approached Tristana with a menacing stride, arm still held up.

Acting on her behalf, the vines that entangled Tristana's feet began to climb up her legs, reaching across her clothes with a death grip. With one swift movement, the vines pulled her clothes apart, reducing her outerwear to a pile of shredded cloth. She was left with boots and underwear.

Clearly embarrassed by this sequence of events, Tristana struggled even further in a desperate attempt to escape her fate, but it was too late. Standing before her was Zyra, sporting a devilish grin as she reached for the yordles undergarments. The vines surrounding her arm assisted in the act, pulling down Tristana's panties to reveal her unblemished vagina.

"Zyra, please!" Tristana pleaded. "I'm sorry for making fun of you! Now, let me d-"

Zyra reacted quickly to the high-pitched whines with a thick vine sliding into Tristana's mouth, slipping beneath her tongue with its slimy exterior and cutting her meager proposal in two. Shaking her head, Zyra spoke in a salacious tone. "Are you this afraid to have my vines intrude on your little garden?" Her fingers spread apart the blue slit. "Too bad."

Tristana attempted to shout with whatever vocal ability she had left, but before even the lightest whimper could escape her violated mouth, Zyra plunged her fingers into her womb.

Tristana let out a pained moan as blood dripped onto Zyra's fingers. "You're a virgin, then?" Zyra spoke as she inspected her messy hands. "Looks like the field I'm plowing is fertile!" She laughed as she increased the assault, pumping more ravenously with every passing second.

Overwhelmed with pleasure, Tristana's eyes rolled back. Now knowing the pointlessness of the slime-coated vine that sat her mouth, Zyra began to slip it down the yordle's throat, converting it from an entangling stem into further stimulation as it slid in and out of her delicate little mouth. Tristana responded to the continued rape with quiet moaning.

When the moans reached their highest frequency, Zyra decided to subject her victim to a new experience. Sliding up the yordles leg was thick, bulb-tipped stem. As it approached the tightly puckered asshole that sat between Tristana's cheeks, Zyra rubbed it with hand that was coated in feminine juices, lubricating it as she continued working Tristana's cunt with her other hand. Although it took some initial pressure to insert, the moist stem eventually began pumping as well.

From eyes clenched shut to wide open, Tristana violently shivered as her third orifice was penetrated by the bulbous root. At that moment, her mind fell into complete disarray, her every hole being fucked with increasing intensity. Her climax emerged only moments after Zyra invaded her ass, and Zyra decided to match it with her own burst of cum.

The bulb split apart and unleashed a torrent of white, syrupy jizz into Tristana's ass. Filling it to the brim, the stem slowly slid out and dropped to the ground, cum dripping after it. Zyra, grinning as she observed Tristana's reaction, spoke with a whisper. "They didn't tell you, little yordle? Flowering plants are hermaphrodites." She gave the broken girl a deep kiss, exiting her sticky mouth with a string of saliva dangling between them. Tristana shuddered, eyes half-closed as she drifted off into unconsciousness.

And what was Lulu doing while all of this was happening? Sitting at base. See, even when taken once, drugs can make your life turn in an instant, whether its due to death, violence, or in this case, making poor judgements. If Lulu had been paying attention to her surroundings, she could have easily saved Tristana, but due to the effects of hallucinogenic mushrooms that she found among Zyra's vines, she chose not to and instead spent that time tripping at the fountain.

Drugs: not even once.


End file.
